I'm growing a lot. God has done a lot of pruning in this little body. Leaving the true me that I am. Oddly enough the more I release the better I feel emotionally and physically. I have a sense of responsibility for my fellow man. The more I hear about another child being bullied or committing suicide because of their sexuality the more God pushes me to COME OUT. To reach out to these angels of God and let them know that He loves them and created them as they are.
God doesn't hate anyone, especially not gays. I have realized that my relationship with God has been compromised by these lies, by allowing hateful or ignorant people to convince me that I would be hated by God if I were to live a gay "lifestyle". What a bunch of bull. I think back at the period in my life when I believed this and tried to live my life "not gay". How much pain I was in emotionally and physically. I would hide the pain by keeping my face in the bible and not thinking about it. I would tell my gay friends that they were living in sin and to repent, I would spend hours praying God to "deliver" them from the homosexual demon that posses them. This my friends did not work. I can tell you all if you can "pray the gay away" I would have done it. I spent hours, days, minutes, fasting, asking and pleading with God that he "remove the gayness". While I'm wasting my time doing that. I'm not concentrating on what God wants me to do for the Kingdom. Even writing this has taken me months to do. I felt God tell me it's time to come tell people who you are, but I kept brushing it off.
Well, I'm here Lord, just as you created me, Female, Hispanic, Disabled, Short and yes GAY. I'm freeing myself from all the hate and all the lies. I love God too much to keep any part of me that He created hidden. I can no more hide my sexual orientation, it's who I am and I will continue to serve the God who loves me despite what others may think or say. I'm free to love, free to praise and free to be. AMEN - Shalom
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